(Or, Showing your Domme the Respect She Deserves!)
By Ms. Angelique
Just to assist you in getting into the right frame of mind, please indulge me for a moment as I take you on a fantasy stroll.
As most reading this are at least 30 years of age, I'm sure you'll remember Princess Diana, a very simple, lovely and charming woman married into royalty. Now, let's suppose that you have just received a personal invitation from Lady Diana to join her for a personal meeting, just the two of you, maybe for lunch and a chat. What would your response be?
If you've answered anything short of honored elation, then you're beyond hope, and there's no sense in your reading any further. But let's just assume that you answered in the affirmative and confirmed with your RSVP. Next is getting yourself ready to come into the presence of royalty.
You attend to your personal grooming, select the ideal outfit, calculate how long it will take to arrive at your rendezvous point, and make plans to leave at least ten minutes early to cover potential delays, so you can be right on time, if not a bit early. You've made sure that any work commitments are covered, the gold fish have been fed, and that the car has plenty of gas.
As you get ready to head out the door, the phone rings, and your buddy wants you to meet him at the stadium as he has an extra ticket to see the Lakers play. Your response, 'not on your life', I can see the Lakers play anytime, but it's not everyday I get to join royalty for lunch.
So it's out the door you go, and just as you're getting into your car, your next door neighbor hollers to you to come over and help them move the refrigerator. Now you know this neighbor, she is one hot number, and maybe there'll be a little peck on the cheek after you've finished moving the fridge. But wait!!! You're on your way to have lunch with Lady Diana, she's royalty, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. 'Sorry Mary, when I get back this evening I'll be happy to help you', and maybe even collect on that show of appreciation.
Now you're back on track. As you pull into the restaurant there is Lady Diana, and she's getting out of the royal limousine. You're taken aback by the regalness of her very presence, and scramble to introduce yourself, and maybe even give her a gentle kiss on her outstretched hand. Quickly turning to open the door for her highness, you follow her into the restaurant. You notice the air of authority she commands as the two of you are escorted to your table, and you are honored to pull her chair out for her, and slide it in beneath her.
Zap! Back to today. You have an appointment with a potential Mistress. You've been honored by her request for you to join her for lunch. Remember Lady Di? Yes, all the above applies, in spades! Because, if you treat her as she deserves to be treated, this won't be a one time meeting, but has the potential for an ongoing relationship. Now that IS an honor.
How should I treat a Domme?
Well, let's start with respect. In everything you do, you should be respectful. Honor this Lady. She deserves it. Every woman deserves to be treated in this manner, out of respect, not obligation, or deference to Her supposed weakness. This is a strong Lady, fully capable of opening Her own doors, sitting in Her own chair, etc. Do it because you want to honor Her.
Maybe by now you've noticed a change in how i'm writing this. Well, when writing a Domme, show Her the same respect you show Her in person. Some call this "protocol", I call this showing respect where respect is due. When referring to Milady, always capitalize the first letter, and when referring to yourself, a lower case letter is appropriate.*
Speaking of the written word, whether it be email or a hand written letter, respect is always appropriate. That respect continues into prompt responses, concise replies to questions posed, and appropriate capitalization. (Hint: you may want to go back to traditional capitalization rules when writing your cousin, etc.)
To get off the subject a moment, you're probably saying this guy (me) is a wuss, or maybe that all this doesn't really apply in today's world. i've got news for you, it does apply, if you want to make a lasting impression on anyone, not just a potential Domme, but your co-workers, neighbors, friends, and family, show them respect. Respect has never gone out of style, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. You will be amazed at how far a little courtesy will go! Here we're going to break once again for the simplest and most direct rule, one that should be part of your everyday life. It's called "The Golden Rule". In simplified version it states: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Would you appreciate having a door held open for you, instead of being slammed in your face? Would you appreciate a returned phone call? Would you appreciate a returned email? Would you appreciate the person you've gone to meet, to show up? i would.
Now let's continue in that same vein, but go one step further, deeper, if you'd like to put it that way. An unknown author once said: "Yours is not to reason why, yours is but to do and die." Well, yes, i would agree that the die part is a bit extreme. But, how many times have we said that beautiful woman is 'to die for'? Maybe a little extreme, but do you get the idea?
When a potential Domme asks something of you, the response should be automatic, "Yes, Ma'am",* no hesitation, no questioning why, no trying to understand Her motives, Just Do It! In the beginning this takes some getting used to. Remember, you have hand selected this particular Domme for specific reasons you find yourself attracted to. She is intelligent, articulate, poised, and has an air of authority. When She has directed you to do something, She has Her reasons, and it is not necessary, at that juncture, to know what Her reasons may be. Likely at some later time you will see the bigger picture, and it will all make sense.
Regardless, no matter what it may be, simply acknowledge, and Do It. Did you catch that "Yes, Ma'am" a moment ago? Proper etiquette is to respond to your Domme with regard to Her station. This should be done always when receiving a directive. Further, when asking permission or seeking input, the request should begin or end with the same respectful "Ma'am." In addition, in the written word at the end of any thought or concept "Ma'am" is appropriate. No, this is not carrying it too far, but just the beginning in showing this Woman the high regard you have for Her.*
One final area i feel the need to cover is time devoted to your potential Domme. Just like you, Her time is valuable. In your schedule you have those must do things: for example, your job, which encompasses specific hours; or a doctors appointment at a specific time. Then you have things you need to accomplish, but your schedule is more flexible: mowing the lawn or washing the car; visiting your grandmother; or grocery shopping. And finally you have your free time to spend as you wish, and work in a few hours for sleep there too.
When planning time for your Domme, your schedule should be flexible to take into account Her schedule. The 'must do' times are exempt. The rest of the time, adjust your schedule to accommodate your Domme. It doesn't matter if you wash the car at 6 a.m. or 12 p.m. or the show you just had to catch on TV, that's what VCR's were made for. She is making room in Her schedule for you, the least you can do is show the same courtesy.
So in conclusion, let's go through the points we have just covered:
- Show respect in all that you do, both in action and word
- Respect Her wishes
- Open the door for Her, seat Her at the table, first
- Show up on time
- Don't interrupt in conversation
- Dress appropriately
- Call when you said you were going to call
- Return and write e-mails in a timely fashion
- •Notify (as far in advance as possible) when you have a change of plan
- Have appropriate reason for not making an appointment (being a patient in the hospital is usually acceptable [be sure the caller ID is appropriate])
- Accept responsibility for your actions
- Sincerely and genuinely apologize when you have erred or broken a commitment
- Speak and write with appropriate titles and capitalization
- Show deference to this special person
- Ask permission for a change in plan
- Seek to meet Her schedule (change yours whenever possible)
- Ask for Her preferences in capitalization of the written word, as well as the use of Ma'am
- Please and Thank You are always appropriate
- •Don't ask why, "Just Do It" (thank you Nike)
In closing, seek to do whatever it is you're doing, to the very best of your ability. Never settle for second best. After all, your Domme deserves the very best you have to offer.
*Not all Dommes will require capitalization when referring to Themselves, nor the lower case when referring to the sub, although most will appreciate its' use. Ask your potential Domme as to Her preference. The same is to be said for the use of "Ma'am." Show this Lady your respect for Her, by asking as to Her preferences with regard to communication. She in turn, will think more highly of you, because you cared enough about Her, to defer to Her preferences.